I’ve often been asked, what do I look for in a partner.
It’s a valid question, and one that I think about quite a lot too.
I honestly think that for me, it’s about acceptance.
What I hope to have in a potential partner is someone who is willing to accept me as I am, but also, someone who makes me want to be a better person, for them.
If that person is okay with me, then I will try my very best to do the same for them.
I am far from a perfect person. I have my issues definitely. But nobody’s perfect, so it’s not realistic to expect any potential partner to be either.
In the same way, there’s no ‘perfect’ relationship. Every successful relationship, I feel, is about acceptance, compromise, and support.
I think of the wedding vows, “In sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death do us part”
I know it’s very cliche, but that’s kinda what I hope for.
(The below part is very personal)
I look to my parents. They don’t have a perfect relationship. They have had some huge arguments over the years. Yet they’re still together, for I think about 40 years now. Because they’ve learnt to give and take, they’ve learned to compromise, they’ve learnt to live with each other.
And then I look to some other relationships around me, how they’ve crumbled so quickly. Like my brother, who couldn’t keep his temper in check, and bailed from his marriage at the slightest sign of trouble.
Sadly, it’s not the only one I’ve seen around me.
It’s called a partnership for a reason. I feel like, once you’ve decided to commit your future to someone, you work together, to build your lives together. Again, nobody’s perfect, but you work things out together, try to iron out the flaws, and accept each other’s imperfections.
You also support each other, be there for each other, in good times and bad.
Building a long term relationship is not easy. Nobody said it is, especially if you expect to spend many years, or even the rest of your lives, together.
But it requires both parties to make an effort. It cannot just be one way.
It’s the reason why I’m open and honest about my thoughts and beliefs, because I think it’s only fair for people to know what they’re getting in to.
But I feel like it’s getting really hard to form a serious relationship in a world that’s descending into selfishness and dishonesty. It’s ironic that expecting honesty and realism is starting to appear idealistic.
I dunno. I hope it’s not too much to ask, but sometimes I feel like it is.